Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes that bear pile drives you in to the floor, as this set of pictures proves.

We've been fooled in to thinking they love honey, or picka-nic baskets, or marmalade, but no, those cartoons have lied to us. I know, I'm upset as well. I never thought the day would come when something as authentic as a cartoon could lie to me so blatantly.

Next thing you know we're going to be told they don't dress smartly in a red top and a chequered scarf, or have a duffle jacket on with wellington boots while carrying a battered suitcase. I hardly think something broadcast on television would lie, especially to children. Lord god, no.

At least these pictures prove once and for all what bears really love, and there's not a honey pot in sight.

You're momma's so fat people say she's got a celestial body...Ah the beautiful rhythm of a mum cuss, it quenches my mind's thirst like a camel's first glug of water after a 14 day desert hike. Delicious!

We all love a good insult and even better, a great come-back or retort. Like in the Simpsons when Lisa says to Bart, "Bart, that's tomorrow's dinner" to which Bart wittily replies, "You're tomorrow's dinner!!" Brilliant, did you see what he did there? I usually try and take what someone said to me and turn it into an insult, just like Bart. It is the very pinnacle of a canny quip. Maybe...for a 5 year-old...with brain rot...

Anyway here's a hilarious list of some of the greatest retorts in the history of retortage, so read up and next time someone calls you a 'Feeble, pitiable sh#t herder with the brain of a retarded toad', as people often call me, you can come-back with something cutting like 'Yeah, well you're a retarded toad!' That'll learn 'em.

I'll leave you with a quote from Groucho Marx. While not quite a retort it is at least a brilliant response. When asked by his friend S. J. Perelman about whether he'd read Perelman's new book Marx replied, 'From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.'